Episode opens up on Conor in a video called "The Struggle".
Conor Hey, gamers. If you wanna go pro with your team, you need to find time to practice at school. That's the struggle. Did you know they expect us to go to school five days a week? Every week. For like... most of the year. Anyway, we've had to get a little creative about how we sneak in practice.
Cut to school.
Wendell I can't believe we're gaming in the janitor's closet! (Points to trash can) I think that's literally the trash can Bernie dumps puke in!
Ashley Don't worry. I'm sure he empties it out every... (Looks into trash can) NO! It's full of puke! (Runs away from trash can)
Conor enters the room.
Conor What are you guys doin'?
Franklin We just found a trash can full of puke!
Conor (Looks into trash can) Cool! Guys, our days of sneaking in gaming are over. The school's charter says, "Any students with a shared interest can be recognized as an official athletic club!"
Ashley That would be so exciting if I knew what that meant!
Conor It means, once Principal Nordahl signs off on our e-sports club, we can game instead of going to gym!
Franklin Oh, thank you, sir! No gym means no more cruel towel snapping on this tender boy's behind.
Wendell Hey, I snap, you cry. I laugh. Everybody wins.
Franklin Oh, look! (Picks up a furry creature.) Bernie must've brought his doggie to work! Why do you think it has this tail like a big old possum?
Ashley Maybe because it is a big old possum!
Ashley / Franklin Ahhh! (Leave room)
Wendell Awesome, dude! You threw 'im right in the puke can! (Takes picture of possum)
Opening theme plays.
Cut to the library.
Nordahl So, he told me, it was either him or the cat. So, I took Mr. Fiddles and I went straight home.
Janice Is Mr. Fiddles the man or the cat?
Nordahl We will finish discussing this important school matter at a later time, Janice.
Conor Principal Nordahl, can I talk to you about an incredible opportunity for the school?
Nordahl You betcha!
Conor All right.
We see Wendell looking at some of the books.
Janice Well-uh...well-uh...well. If it isn't Wendell Ruckus. Last time I saw you was seven years ago when you checked out Worm With a Perm. You're lookin' at the biggest fine in school history. Wendell.
Wendell I returned that book. You must've lost it. I ain't payin' for your mistake. Janice.
Scene shifts to Conor and Nordahl talking to each other.
Conor It's right in the school's charter. Section J, Paragraph 3B.
Nordahl Oh, ya! The rule that allows kids to bring cows as prom dates. That was put in there in the eighteen-hundreds when there was a lot more cows than kids.
Conor Oh. Sorry. I meant Paragraph 3C.
Nordahl Ooh, ya wanna start a sports club. I don't know.
Conor Well, not just any sports club. An e-sports club. See, video games are the fastest-growing sport in the world. Colleges are now even offering gaming scholarships.
Nordahl Well, milk my prom date!
Conor Even our rivals: West Yuba High, have a gaming club. But, of course everybody knows, they're way more elite than we are.
Nordahl (Gasps) Hush your mouth. We are way more elite than those dirty Yubans! We have the tallest flagpole in the district!
Conor Then, are you gonna stand tall like that glorious flagpole, and help us form the Mondale High Gaming Club?
Nordahl You're darn tootin' I am!
(text on the screen displays the words "Achievement Unlocked: Gaming Club!")
Nordahl You can use the AV room. It has all the latest equipment!
Conor Haha! Yes, I did it!
Cut to the AV room.
Conor What did I do?
Franklin THIS, is the school's "latest equipment"?! This computer's from, like, the nineteen-nineties!
Ashley That's probably the computer they used on the Mayflower!
Conor I just set up our school's first e-sports match with West Yuba High. Those guys are good at everything! We'll never beat them with this junk.
Franklin What does this thing even do? (Turns on modem)
Modem connection screeches.
Conor Uh-oh. I think you've angered it! (Tries to destroy modem with computer keyboard) Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ashley Ooh! (Walks over to ribbon winder) I know what this is. It's one of those old-timey ribbon winders!
Man on radio Hey, kids. Today, we're gonna learn about your changing bodies. Get ready to climb aboard the puberty train. Puberty train! (Train whistle blows on radio)
Conor shuts off the radio.
Franklin Why'd you do that? I had some questions for that train.
Conor We can't game with this junk. I'm gonna go talk to Nordahl. (Runs away from AV room.)
Wendell walks into the room.
Wendell So, this is where we're gaming? Nice! (Realizes desk) Hey. My old desk.
Ashley "Noobs Stink"?
Wendell Ha! Classic Wendell. (Looks under desk) Oh no. My library book. (Grabs library book) Worm With a Perm.
Franklin I guess you're gonna have to tell the librarian that you had it all along.
Wendell That's exactly what I'm not gonna do. I'm gonna sneak in and return it. So she can see once and for all that she was wrong!
Ashley But she wasn't wrong.
Wendell Oh, but Janice doesn't know that! (Runs out of the room)
Ashley (Before leaving room) You coming, Franklin?
Franklin Oh, in a minute.
Ashley leaves room
Franklin turns on radio
Man on radio Our first train stop is Thereshairtheresberg.
Cut to Wendell trying to sneak Worm With a Perm back in the library. He hides the book in his sweater.
Janice Hello, Wendell! Come to pay your fine?
Wendell I'm not paying the fine! I told you, I already returned the book!
Janice Really? Then, why you acting so, nervous? You got the sweats. Your nostrils are flarin'. You got the squirrely eyes.
Wendell Maybe it's these skinny jeans! I'm jammed in here like a walrus with a sleeping bag!
Janice Please. I've seen this before. You've got borrower's remorse.
Wendell No, I'm just... uh... uh... uh, taking a walk. See? Yeah, yeah, I'm taking a walk. Is that a crime? I don't think so! Now, cheese off, Janice!
Cut to the AV room.
Franklin Look at all this stuff! Wireless headsets?! 4K monitors?! (Pulls out Xbox 360 controller) Customized controllers?!
Conor When I told Nordahl we had a match against West Yuba, she went crazy and got us all this gear!
Ashley Where'd she get the money?
Other Mondale High students walk in.
Doyle These are the pit sniffers that took the money from our PE budget!
Conor I'm guessing she got it from the PE budget.
Doyle We's needed that dough to buy new balls.
Franklin What's wrong with those balls?,
Doyle They're... (Students deflate balls) broken. Just like you's guys is gonna be. You made a big mistake stealing from me and my crew. You're gonna pay.
Conor Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! There's gotta be a way to settle this. How about we play a video game?
Doyle Not gonna happen.
Franklin All right, Doyle. Then, we shall battle it out like the great warriors of history. With a spelling bee! First word, debutante!
Doyle D-E-B-U-T-A-N-T-E.
Franklin Okay, I guess you don't need the country of origin then. (Walks away)
Doyle I was thinkin' somethin' a little more physical in nature. Like, oh, I don't know, Doyleball. Tomorrow, two PM. If we's win, we get to sell your gear to buy some sweet new balls.
Conor Fine. And if we's win, we're keepin' our equipment, and you's guys will leave us alone.
Doyle You're on.
Conor Bring on the Doyleball, huh? Hahaha! (PE kids leave; To Ashley and Franklin) What the heck is Doyleball?
Franklin It's like dodgeball. But, with high-pressured air cannons.
Ashley We're so dead.
Achievement pops up on the screen saying "Achivement Unlocked: Death by Doyleball!".
Franklin I, Franklin Delgado, hereby bequeath my pet turtle Beyoncé... to my future wife, Beyoncé.
Cut to the library, where Franklin is still trying to sneak Worm With a Perm back to the library.
Wendell (On phone) We're all clear. Operation Return the Worm is a go. Over. (On other phone) Ehhhhhhhh, copy that, Night Wolf. (Howls)
Wendell starts trying to sneak Worm With a Perm back to the library.
Wendell (Falls off the book shelf) Wh- whoa! Ugh! (Sees pickaxe) Why did I bring a pickaxe?! (Throws pickaxe; Stands back up; Puts Worm With a Perm back on its shelf) Night Wolf out! (Exits the building; Bumps into trashcan) Who would put a trashcan here?!
Cut to Conor, Wendell, Franklin, Ashley, and Doyle's team, Doyle pulls out a gun.
Conor Don't worry, guys. They're just trying to intimidate us. What we have to do is... (Sees Wendell, Franklin, and Ashley leaving) Guys? Guys! (Whispering) Get back here!
Wendell, Franklin, and Ashley re-enter the room.
Conor All right. There might be a lot more of them than us. But we've got something they can't overcome.
Wendell Good point. (Lifts hands) These pythons are ready to strike! And, if need be, I'll break out the mongoose.
Franklin What's the mongoo...?
Ashley Don't ask.
Conor No, Wendell. We've got strategy. And that always beats strength. Check it out. This gym is laid out just like the Hangar 18 map from Call of Honor 2: Honor the Call!
Franklin Good point, sir! And remember, in war, morale is everything. You don't wanna be the first one taken out, so just... (Gets knocked over)
Doyle Doyleball, commence!
Conor Game on.
(Doyleball game starts)
Conor Wendell, draw their fire! (Two members of Doyle's team get knocked out) Got 'em!
Wendell shoots a knocked-out member of Doyle's team again.
Wendell Wrecked, yeah!
Conor Ashley, get the camper!
Ashley Grenade out! (Throws grenade) YEEEESSSS! (Gets shot; faints)
Conor knocks down two members of Doyle's team)
Doyle Time out, time out, time out, time out, time out! Time out.
Conor Time out?
Doyle The Doyleball rule book, subsection 9C states, maintain hydration, and Doyle calls all time outs.
Conor All right, guys. We got 'em right where we want 'em.
Wendell Man, I'm having a great day! I've almost single-handedly won this match, and I returned my book to the library, without Janice knowing.
Franklin Nice work! How'd you manage to get a new bar code label?
Wendell I'm sorry. A new what, now?
Franklin Well, you see, three years ago, the library switched over to a bar code system. If you didn't put a bar code on the book, she'll know you snuck it back on the shelf.
Wendell Aw, meatbags! Now, I gotta get it before she finds it! Good luck, noobs!
Conor Wait! The game's not over!
Wendell It is for me! (Leaves room)
Doyle Time in! (Knocks out Conor)
Conor Awgh! Ugh! (Falls over)
Ashley Ooh. Got 'im right in the mongoose.
Cut to Conor, Ashley, Franklin, and Doyle's team after Conor's team loses.
Conor All right. It's all here. You got the special edition consoles, wireless headsets, (In sad voice) and 4K monitors.
Doyle Sweet.
Conor and Doyle fight between the 4K monitor. Doyle grabs it though.
Doyle Look at all this stuff. We could trade this in for more than just a few balls. We can get a case of new jockstraps!
Conor This gaming gear is worth thousands of dollars!
Ashley Those better be some pretty nice jockstraps!
Doyle You know it. Later, pit sniffers.
Franklin There goes our chance at beating West Yuba High.
Doyle Wait, how was you gonna beat West Yuba?
Ashley We were supposed to compete against their gaming club this Friday.
Doyle We never beat them at nothin'. I'd do anything to beat those dirty Yubinians.
Conor Really? Is that right? Well, you know, our kill-to-death ratio is twice as high as theirs.
Doyle Get outta here. No wa-- are you serious?
Conor You have no idea what I'm talkin' about, do you?
Doyle Not presently.
Conor We have a chance to make school history. And by giving us our equipment back, you can be out there with us. (Him and Doyle make poses, correspondingly with the following lines:) Shoulder-to-shoulder. Heart to heart.
Doyle You's mean, actually out there playin' the games?
Conor No, you'd be watching from a safe distance away, but still.
Doyle If you's win, can we get one of those banners that would hang in our gym all forever-like? (Starts crying)
Conor Totally forever-like.
Doyle Then, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take this gear, and us Roosters, are gonna go beat those Yubinians!
Everyone Yeah!
Conor Yeah, we are. Together! Now, crow it out with me, bro!
Doyle's team are heard screaming as they walk out. Conor shuts the door.
Conor Okay, that is one crazy pit sniffer.
Cut to the library. Wendell hangs down from a line.
Wendell Whoo! Okay. (Brings out bar code) Bar code... check. Ha! She'll never know I was here. Eat a bag of rocks, Janice. (Puts the bar code on the book)
Wendell's action causes the book shelves to break apart, the book shelves knock over the next book shelf. Janice walks over, to see the library destroyed.
Wendell (Nervously) Oh, hey, Janice! Uh, looking...fine.
Camera shifts over to an angry Janice, then immediately at Wendell.
Wendell (Still nervous) Oh, would you look here? It's, uh, (Grabs book) Worm with a Perm. With code. And...everything!
Janice (Grabs book from Wendell) Nice try, (Takes off bar code) book crook. You think I wouldn't recognize a bar code from a can of Tabby Chow?! Ah, you're pickin' up every one of these books! But first, you're paying your fine. (Walks over to desk with Wendell) Let's see. With penalties, (Uses her machine to calculate the fine) compound the interest, (Uses machine) carry the three. (Fine has been calculated) Ho-ho-HOOOO! (Shows paper with calculated fine on it) You owe seven-thousand three-hundred and twenty-one dollars.
Wendell Oh, man. My parents are gonna kill me! Wait. What's this fine print? (Grabs paper)
Janice That's not important! Just-- pay the fine!
Wendell It says, "The borrower has the option of paying the fine, or... paying for a new book." Ho-ho-HOOOO! Wanna tell me how much that book costs? Janice.
Janice (Angrily) Three dollars and twenty-five cents.
Wendell Let's do that. (Pulls out dollar bill) Awwww.... break a fifty?
Cut to the gaming club competition.
Janice Ladies and gentlemen! Electricity is in the air as the West Yuba High gaming club takes on your Mondale High Roosters!
Crowd cheers.
Janice Now, give it up for your gaming star, Conor!
Conor makes an entrance.
Janice And his teammates! Ashley, Franklin...
Ashley and Franklin make their entrance as well.
Janice And... Wendy!
Wendell You know it's Wendell, Janice!
Janice Hehehehehehe! Gamers! Get ready.
The scene transitions to Conor's team preparing.
Franklin All right, guys. Huddle up.
The team groups together.
Franklin Before we jump into battle, I think our fearless leader should say something.
Wendell Thanks, Franklin.
Ashley He was talking to Conor.
The team gets into a line next to Conor.
Wendell Ooh... the co-leader. Yeah. Go ahead.
Conor Wow, I've...never had to address a team before. If we lose, we won't be able to practice at school, which means we'll never succeed as a team, (Sadly) and our dreams of being a professional gaming clan will be over. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't lose!
Janice Let the game begin!
Crowd cheers. The gaming competition starts.
Conor (In narration) It was awesome. First match as a team, and the school was behind us all the way. (Narration ends)
Nordahl Are we winning?!
Doyle I don't even know!
Doyle and Nordahl bump into each other, Doyle falls down. Conor's narration starts again.
Conor (In narration) West Yuba was a worthy opponent. But, we had something they didn't have. Heart. And me. I mean, I was on the cover of Inside Gamer magazine...
An achievement called "Humblebrag!" shows up on the screen.
Conor (Cont'd) ...Last year, so...
Crowed cheers, competition ends.
Janice Unbelievable! For the first time ever, at anything, Mondale beats Yuba! Mondale beats Yuba!
Everyone cheers.
Conor Soak it up, guys. It doesn't get any better than this.
Doyle Ye-heah! Dow! (Dumps a can of liquid on one of the computers, which get destroyed)
Conor Aw, man. See? This is why we can't have nice things!
Cut to the gym, where Principal Nordahl is riding on an elevator ready to hang the banner.
Ashley Ready to hang the banner, Principal Nordahl?
Nordahl I have been waiting for this ride, my whole life! Up I go!
Franklin Today, we dedicate this banner in honor of our school's first victory over our rivals, West Yuba High!
Doyle Soar like the mighty rooster. Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Franklin I don't think she's close enough to the hook.
Nordahl I can get it. I just need to lean a little (Falls down) WHHOOOOAAA! (Gets back up) Go, Roosters. Cock-a-doodle-do.
(Episode ends and credits play)