The Puddin' Party/Transcript

	Episode opens up on the Billy the Squid restaurant. Ashley walks over to the table and gives Conor his bowl of chips.
Ashley	Here's your order, and (Gives Conor check) here's your check. (Before Conor can lay a finger in the bowl, she eats part of the burger.)
Conor	Uh...how's my crab burger?
Ashley	(Muffled) Mmm! Really good! You're gonna love it.
Conor	We are sixty bucks closer to goin' to Game-Con. I just sold an autographed pair of my gaming underpants.
Ashley	Ew. Who would buy those?
	Franklin appears, with Conor's gaming underpants.
Franklin	Well, you can check another item off my bucket list! You know, this makes us undie buddies. We're brief bros.! We're tighty--! (Sits down)
Conor	No, no, no. We're none of those things.
Ashley	Let me add my tips. I got nine bucks. But, that includes this five-dollar bill (Pulls out dollar bill) from that cheap fisherman.
Conor	Five dollars is a great tip. Why do you call him cheap?
	Ashley accidentally releases the dollar bill.
Ashley	That's why.
Franklin	I still can't believe we're going to go to Game-Con. The biggest gaming convention in the world!
Ashley	I wonder how Wendell did with his kissing booth.
	Scene shifts to reveal Wendell, carrying a can saying "ONE DOLLAR A KISS".
Wendell	Comin' through. (Drops a coin on the table, indicating he didn't do so well) That money-back guarantee was a bad idea.
	Franklin is shown playing a phone game.
Franklin	(Squeals) Yes! I got a puddin' pony bonus, which means I'm goin' to Tapioca Town! Whoo!
Wendell	Uh, whatcha playin'?
Franklin	Only the hottest new game on the digital market: Puddin' Party.
Wendell	Dude, that game is for babies and soccer moms! You want me to get you a diaper and/or a minivan?
Franklin	Mom already rocks a minivan, and I gave up diapers over a year ago.
Conor	Okay, Franklin, that's what you call a casual game. And, we have our pro cards now. If you play it, you play it alone. In your bathroom. Behind the shower curtain. With the windows shut.
Ashley	Shield your shame, boy!
Franklin	The only shame I feel is when Nanna Butterscotch catches me eating out of her puddin' pot. Oh, boy.
Wendell	Okay. (Grabs tablet) That's it. You are not getting this back until we wash the filthy casual out of you.
Conor	All right, guys. Let's go deposit this money in our Pay Buddy account.
	Conor leaves, Franklin tries to take back the tablet from Wendell.
Wendell	Don't even think about it. You disgust me.
	Franklin leaves, Wendell is still playing Puddin' Party.
Wendell	Pfft! This game is so dumb! All you do is match three puddings? Oh, double bonus. (Sits down) Well, that's pretty cool.
	A girl comes by with her lips in a kissing position.
Wendell	Uh, little busy, hon.
	The girl takes a dollar bill out of the can and walks away. Opening titles play.
	Cut a room where the students are dissecting pigs.
Ashley	Fetal pig dissection day is awesome! Check out this red stretchy thing.
Franklin	Stop stretching on the intestines! I promised myself I wouldn't lose my lunch this year.
Ashley	Its guts are so stretchy. I wonder how far they can... (Pulls off guts, which end up on Franklin's face.)
Franklin	I told you not to stretch it! I told ya! (Takes off pig guts)
	Wendell walks in the room.
Ashley	Oh! What happened to you? Oh! You look like you haven't slept in days!
Franklin	You've got some serious robe gap!
Ashley	Yeah. How about a little courtesy cinch?
Wendell	I'm feeling fine, guys. And I'm ready to dive right into this pig. (Lays on pig)
	Pig Pillow achievement appears onscreen.
Franklin	Here comes the horking!
Ashley	AH!
	Everyone runs out of the classroom.
	Cut to Conor on a video called "How To Tell If Something's Wrong With Your Teammate."
Conor	Gamers, here's how to tell there's something wrong with your teammate. He falls asleep in a fetal pig for two hours, he blows off gaming practice, and he loses interest in the things he loves.
	Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant. Franklin is twisted at one of the tables.
Ashley	How did you even get in there?
Franklin	It's the curse of narrow butt syndrome.
Wendell	Hey, Franklin. (Exits)
	Cut to Conor on the video.
Conor	The Wendell I know would've made a whole series of Twine videos entitled "Butt Struggles!".
	Cut to Wendell's room late at night. Conor walks in and realizes Wendell playing Puddin' Party.
Conor	Wendell? (Turns on light)
Wendell	(Hisses) The light! The light!
Conor	Wendell, what the heck is wrong with you? You've been missing gaming practice.
Wendell	I've been sick. (Gets out of bed) My aunt died. I have the scabies. My grandma ate my homework!
Conor	What were you doing with your phone?
Wendell	Phone? What phone? I don't have a phone. Your phone!
Nana Butterscotch	(On phone) Nana Butterscotch loves you. Now, who wants puddin'?
Conor	(Grabs phone) Puddin' Party.
Wendell	That's right. I play it, and I love it! (Grabs phone) I'm already up to level two hundred and seventy-three! Who am I hurting?! Huh?! Who am I hurting?!
Conor	You're hurting yourself. You're losing control of your life, ignoring your friends.
Wendell	Friends? I don't need friends. I've got Nana Butterscotch. (Kisses phone) She doesn't judge me. Like you. Now, get out! I'm going to the bathroom. (Steps in litter box)
Conor	Is that a litter box?!
Wendell	I said get out. (Hisses, then swipes grains of litter at Conor)
Conor	(Getting hit by the litter) OOOOOOOOH! OHH! OHH! OWWWW! WWWOOOWWW! (Exits room)
	Cut to school.
Conor	Guys! Wendell's hooked on Puddin' Party, and it's bad. Look.
Franklin/Ashley	Ugghhhhhhh!
Franklin	Why is he using a litter box?
Ashley	And why did you take a picture of it?
Franklin	That's the problem with Puddin' Party. For some, it's the party that never ends. (Sighs)
Ashley	Well, you play it. How come you don't have a problem?
Franklin	Because, I've got willpower and self control. I'm a man! Plus, my mommy won't let me buy any extra lives.
Conor	Wait. You have to buy extra lives? But Wendell's been playing for days. That must've cost him a fortune. Where'd he get that kind of money?
Ashley	That is a mystery.
	Ringing sound plays. Conor, Ashley, and Franklin pull out their phones.
Conor	It's a Pay Buddy alert. Someone withdrew all Game-Con the money from our account!
Ashley	I wonder who that was.
Conor	Huh!
Ashley	One mystery at a time, guys!
	Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant.
Wendell	I'm here for the Pudding Pals party! Where do I sign up for the free lives?!
Conor	Uhh... okay! Wendell, Wendell. This is an intervention, okay? Come on. Take a seat.
Wendell	Man! What's going on? (Sits down) You're not a Puddin' Pal! I want my nana!
Conor	Calm down. Calm down. She's right here.
	Camera shifts to reveal one of Wendell's nanas.
Wendell	Not my dried-up old craggly-faced nana! I want my sweet Nana Butterscotch!
Conor	Gi-- (Grabs the phone) Give me that!
Franklin	Wendell, buddy. We're here because we care about you.
Conor	So, we're all gonna go around the room and each say one thing that we love about you. I'll go first. You are so... (Can't think of a word) Mmm! Umm... Ashley, why-why don't you go first?
Ashley	Okay. (Clears throat) Wendell, (Sighs) I'd just like to say...you stole our Game-Con money, you thief! (Her and Conor start fighting.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Conor	Ashley, Ashley. Sit! Sit! (Him and Ashley stop fighting.)
Wendell	You know what? She's right. I did take the money. But, you three still cared enough to come down here and help me. (Sniffles) There's just one thing I have left to say. See ya, suckers! (Runs up to the door, but the door doesn't open, so he falls down.)
Conor	I locked the doors.
	Cut to Ashley and Wendell. Ashley puts a remote-controlled collar on Wendell.
Wendell	How is this supposed to make me stop playing Puddin' Party?
Ashley	Every time you reach for your phone to play, I'm gonna hit this button, and you're gonna feel a slight tingle.
	Wendell reaches for the phone to play Puddin' Party. Ashley pushes the button and the collar zaps Wendell.
Wendell	Ow! Dude! That is not a slight tingle! Are you sure this collar is safe?
Ashley	If it wasn't safe, they wouldn't use it to train wild bears! (Pushes button, collar zaps Wendell)
Wendell	OW! (Gets out of seat) I didn't even reach for it that time!
Ashley	Yeah, but you were thinkin' about it!
Wendell	Give me that!
Ashley	Oh! Oh!
	(Ashley pushes the button and the collar zaps Wendell)
Wendell	AGH! (Falls on ground)
	Ashley laughs and pushes the button on the remote.
Wendell	AGGHHHHHH!
	Cut to Wendell after eating through a lot of pudding cups.
Wendell	I can't feed myself any more of this.
Franklin	Tough taquitos! You agreed to eat pudding until you want nothing to do with that pudding game ever again.
Wendell	All right. I'll try. (Tries to eat another bit of pudding, but his arm can't reach his mouth.) Agh! I can't! I shouldn't have eaten so much of this!
Franklin	Oh, no. The little baby doesn't feel so good? Which one did you like? The chocolate?
	Wendell's stomach rumbles.
Franklin	Or... the banana cream?
	Wendell's stomach rumbles again.
Franklin	Or, could it be the tapioca?
	Wendell's stomach growls. He then spits pudding on Franklin.
Franklin	Well, apparently...............it was the tapioca.
	Cut to Conor and Wendell.
Conor	All right, Wendell. You're not crying and shaking as much, so I'd say you're doin' great. In fact, you're doin' so great, that we've arranged for a little surprise.
	Nana Butterscotch walks into the room.
Wendell	Nana Butterscotch? I've always wanted to meet you! These people have been so mean to me!
Conor	Go to nana, Wendell. She has something for you.
Wendell	(Sobs, walks up to Nana Butterscotch, who kicks him over) Why, nana?! Why?!
	Punched In The Puddin' achievement appears onscreen.
	Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant.
Wendell	Hey, guys. I wanna thank you for helping me get my life back on track.
Conor	We're all proud of you. You hit bottom. Not sleeping, not bathing, having to go to the bathroom in a litter box.
Wendell	I've always used a litter box. I've got for sisters and one bathroom. My dad has to shave in the bird bath. Now that Billy's given me this job, I'm gonna make all our money back and get our team to Game-Con.
Franklin	Cool! Have you gotten any tips?
Wendell	(Pulls out dollar bill) Five dollars and forty-two cents. (Accidentally releases the money) Forty-two cents.
Conor	Way to go, Wendell. (Sees Wendell leaving) Hey. We'll get our money back in no time! Hahahaha! We're never gettin' our money back.
Franklin	Wendell really punched the pooch on this one!
	Ashley appears.
Ashley	Well, I had cleaned up all the Puddin' Party stuff out of his room.
Conor	Look at all this junk he spent our money on. (Brings out doll) Puddin' Party dolls, (Brings out crayons) Puddin' Party crayons, (Brings out tube) Puddin' Party bubble bath? It's so lame.
Franklin	Yeah. Totally lame. I'll just...put this stuff in my backpack (Grabs tube) and throw it all away later when you guys aren't around. (Proceeds to put all the Puddin' Party equipment in his backpack)
Ashley	Check this out. (brings out Puddin' Party tournament advertisement poster) A Puddin' Party tournament! Ha! How desperate do you have to be to go to that?
Conor	Haha! I know! Wait, listen! (Reads paper) First prize wins a thousand bucks!
	They all laugh as a response.
Franklin	That'd be enough to get us to Game-Con!
Ashley	I know! Laaaaaame! Wait. That'd be enough to get us to Game-Con!
Conor	And only one of us has played enough Puddin' Party to win that tournament.
	They all stare at Wendell.
Wendell	Hey, guys. Thanks again.
	The scene transitions back to the Billy the Squid restaurant.
Conor	Now, remember. If we wanna get to Game-Con, we've gotta ease Wendell back into the Puddin' Party so we can win the thousand bucks. Oh. Here comes Wendell! Be cool!
Franklin	Hey, cool! We're just bein' Wendell! Mmm!
Wendell	You guys done with your gator tots?
Conor	Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... we just ate 'em. But, we won't be done with 'em for a week. Am I right?!
	Conor, Franklin, and Ashley laugh loudly.
Franklin	Good times with good friends. (Stilted) Hey, Ashley. What is that you are reading?
Ashley	It's the Puddin' Party flyer we were just talking about! Remember the whole tricking Wendell thing?
Wendell	Oh! I get it! This is a test. But you don't have to worry. I will never play that game again.
Conor	Okay, don't say never. No one says never anymore. The new "never" is "one more time." Like, say...
Franklin	Saturday the nineteenth three o'clock at the Civic Center.
Conor	Yeah! That's a great totally random idea.
Wendell	Sorry. Not interested. I'm on the straight and narrow.
Ashley	Listen up, you sad sack of hammers. You took our money, and now you're gonna win it back. You have one talent, and this is it, so it's time to put it up, pal!
Wendell	No, I am not going to do it. And there is nothing that you can say, or do, that will change my...
	Ashley threateningly pulls out the collar and remote.
Wendell	One more time couldn't hurt. No.
	Cut to the Puddin' Party tournament.
Conor	All right! Look at this. It's just kids! This is gonna be a piece of cake. Right, Wendell? (Realizes that Wendell is missing) Uh, Wendell?
	We see Ashley struggling to carry Wendell using a leash.
Ashley	He tried making a run for it in the parking lot. But, I got 'im.
Wendell	Take this thing off of me. I'm not a dog. And, where's that sausage treat you promised me?
	Ashley pulls a sausage and Wendell eats it.
Conor	All right, Wendell. We just need you to bring everything you got one last time and then you can retire forever. (Whispers) Come on.
Competition manager	Hey, guys. Here to register a child?
Conor	Uh, yes. His name is Wendell Ruckus, and he is totally potty-trained. If you have a litter box.
Competition manager	Hello there, Wendell. When we take our juice break, what flavor would you like, little fella?
Wendell	Excuse me! I'm fourteen years old, man! I'll take a sunny berry blast. And I may need help with the straw!
Conor	He gets cranky when he skips his nap.
Competition manager	Okay, Puddin' players! Haha! Let's get ready to stir it up! (Exits)
	Buzzer sounds. Everyone starts playing Puddin' Party.
Ashley	What's wrong with him? He's not even looking at the game!
	Cut to Conor's video entitled "Never Troll a Troll."
Conor	Wendell was pathetic. He was a shell of his former self, and that prize money was as good as gone. Why? Because we broke him. Like (Pulls out piggy bank) this fragile piggy bank.
	The video cuts to Conor trying to break the piggy bank with a hammer.
Conor	Okay, the point is, we broke Wendell. And now, we had to figure out how to fix him. (He knocks the piggy bank onto the floor and it breaks.) Oh, really?!
	Cut to the Puddin' Party competition, the buzzer sounds.
Competition manager	Okay! Puddin' players, haha! That's the end of round one, and it looks like our leader is little Tina Kelly, huh? Whoo! Tina!
Tina	(Squeals briefly) I did it, I did it! I wrecked all those scrubs!
Franklin	We're never gonna get to Game-Con.
Ashley	This is embarrassing.
Wendell	Can I get a little help with this straw? (Attempts to jam the straw into the juice box)
	Tina is given a bag of food.
Tina	These are plain corn doodlers. I wanted cheddar. Get it right, Deborah!
Conor	That's it! I know how to get Wendell back! (Walks over to Tina) Uhh... excuse me. Tina? Hi. I just wanted to say good luck.
Tina	I don't need good luck. I'm the best player here.
Conor	Well, uh, that's not what the gamer over (Points) there said.
Tina	That walkin' zit bag?
Conor	That's the one. Uhh...he also said you're an "overrated try-hard", whatever that means.
Tina	What?! (Gives bag to Deborah) Hold my doodlers, Deborah. (Walks over to Wendell) So, I hear you're throwin' mad shade, grandpa!
Wendell	I-I'm sorry. Who are...
Tina	I'm Tina, (Brings out seven fingers) and I'm this many years old. And I'm gonna crush you like the cockroach you are!
	Cut to Conor's video.
Conor	Gamers, one thing you should know about Wendell is he feeds on trash talk. You see, he's your classic troll. And you never...troll a troll.
	Cut to the Puddin' Party competition.
Wendell	Look. I don't know what your deal is, but--
Tina	My deal, is pointin' out posers! And I'm lookin' at a big one right now. (Points to Wendell) Poser!
	Cut to Conor's video.
Conor	See, if anyone can get inside Wendell's head, it was Tina. And if she pushed him all the way to full berserker mode, he'd be unstoppable.
	Cut to Tina and Wendell at the Puddin' Party competition.
Tina	(In baby talk) Oh, is the big, dumb baby gonna cry? (Makes an echoing crying sound:) WEEEEEEEEEH! WEH WEH!
Conor	Game on.
	Cut to Wendell and Tina competing.
Tina	(As a fairy; Making a crying sound:) WEH WEH WEH WEH WEH! (Flies around Wendell) Poser, poser! You're a big old poser!
	Wendell tries to hit Tina, but misses.
Tina	Missed me!
	Wendell tries to hit Tina again, but misses again.
Tina	Too slow.
	Wendell attempts to fly in the air to hit Tina, but he still misses.
Tina	Nice try, try-hard! Hahahahaha!
Wendell	ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Computerized voice	sNiTcHbLaStA wins!
	Cut back to the competition after Wendell's victory.
Franklin	You, sir, are a genius!
Competition manager	(Walks over) Oh-ho-ho-ho! Wow! What a comeback! Huh? We have our winner: Wendell Ruckus, everybody.
	Everyone cheers.
Franklin	YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ashley	Whoo!
Wendell	Eat a bag of rocks, Tina!
	"Winning With Class!" achievement appears onscreen.
Competition manager	Eat a bag of rocks, indeed.
Tina	(Walks up to Deborah) He beat me, Mommy! (Points to Wendell) That old man beat me!
Franklin	You did it! You did it!
Wendell	Heck yeah, I did it! 'Cause this, is a Ruckus party and there ain't no party like a Ruckus party.
Competition manager	Oh. And here to present you with your one-thousand dollar grand prize is none other than Nana Butterscotch, everybody.
	Nana Butterscotch walks in with a thousand-dollar check.
Butterscotch	Congratulations, sweet boy. Come give Nana Butterscotch a hug!
Wendell	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Runs into Nana Butterscotch)
Conor	Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hey, fun tournament. Just really, really fun. I'll go ahead and take this. (Grabs check)
	Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant. Franklin and Tina are talking to each other.
Franklin	Thanks for meeting me. Now, I may look like a bad boy, but I've always been lacking in the talking of trash.
Tina	You don't look like a bad boy. You look like a shaved rat.
Franklin	Hey! That was hurtful! Why would you call me...? Ohhhhh. You're good.
	Tina nods.
Ashley	Franklin. This is the girl you hired to help you with your trash talk? She's just a kid. What does she know?
Tina	I know you're one-hundred percent zombie-proof. 'Cause you ain't got no brains!
Ashley	(Gasps) Oooooooooooooh. You are good.
Singer	♪ Gamer's Guide! ♪
	Episode ends and credits play.